What do your boundaries convey to those around you? {Part 2 - Emotional Boundaries} - Nurtured Hearts Counseling, PLLC

Emotional Boundaries

When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.
- Brene Brown

A few days ago, we talked about physical boundaries and the importance of taking the time to be aware of what your body is telling you about the physical boundaries that you have set. Today, I want to focus on emotional boundaries.


What are Emotional Boundaries?
One of my favorite sayings is,  "you teach people how to treat you". Many people respond to this with, "I can't control how others treat me". You are right, you cannot control others, however, you can control how you respond to the way that others treat you. Emotional boundaries focus on two things. 1. They focus on what you are willing to accept from another person's behavior. 2. They focus on only taking responsibility for your feelings and emotions and not the other person's emotions. Emotional boundaries can get sticky when we start to take on other's emotions. What do I mean by this? 


Do you have relationships in which the other person has no regard for how their comments will affect you? I want to take a moment to empower and encourage you that YOU HAVE A CHOICE!  You can choose to stand there and let them treat you that way, to let them call you names, to let them yell at you, but you do not have to. You can demand higher respect for yourself.  


Do you have a boundary in place to protect you and your emotions? What does it look like?


Are there things in your relationships that are destructive to you? 


A lack of emotional boundaries are: 
1.  Not being able to say no to someone and sacrificing your own emotions. 
2. You are giving, giving, giving, and not receiving anything in return from the relationship. 
3. You are being abused - the other person gets to do and say whatever they want and you allow it. 
4. You feel emotionally exhausted after engaging in conversation or time with this person. 


Do any of these feel relevant in your life?

"Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect." 
― Anonymous

Step 2

1. I want you to look at your relationships.  From co-workers to your best friends and closest family. Are there ever situations that come up that make you angry, sad, or guilty?
2. How do you feel after you experience someone crossing your emotional boundary? 
3. Can you think of any situations in your life that might require an emotional boundary?

**The final email in this series will focus on how to set emotional and physical boundaries.
Be on the lookout for that later this week!


Follow up from Step 1.

1. What did your physical boundary look like? 
2. How far did it span? 
3. Did you notice any reactions or emotions come up when someone came closer than you were comfortable with & when they stepped away? 

I would love to hear how step 1 went, feel free to send me an email. 


Did you miss {Part 1} and want to catch up?

Read {Part 1}

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Brittany Wingfield

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