Preface Preface: This blog has been a draft for quite some time... I am extremely hesitant to post it, because it is a topic that is heated and it is never my intent to cause for conflict, however, the events that happened this weekend have weighed heavy on my heart and something that I feel needs to be addressed. Everyone deserves love - no matter what they stand for. Whether you agree with this topic or not, I would challenge you to re-think how you treat individuals in this community. Preface: I have spent hours, days, weeks, and months writing, re-writing, deleting, and stewing over this blog post. It is not one that I have written flippantly. Well, none of my blog posts are, but with this specific blog, I was very careful how I wrote it, to prevent any harm from being caused. I really wanted to take the time to think about and process this blog post, because it is such a sensitive subject, especially right now and one that I have really struggled with the past few years. I am being vulnerable in writing this blog and sharing things that I hate to admit. I never intend to hurt anyone with my blog posts. Instead, I strive to do the opposite. I strive to inspire you, build you up, and help you know that YOU, and what you are going through, ARE IMPORTANT! Here I go again, writing a controversial blog post. But, that is what I have committed to do through this blog and throughout my counseling practice. I have committed to talking about topics that are uncomfortable and that our society often avoids. The reality is that no matter how much we try to avoid these topics they do not go away. This topic is a huge part of some people's lives. I write this blog, because it changed the way I looked at those that identify as LGBTQ. I will be transparent with you and say that I am still figuring it out and I am still processing, but the stories that were shared on this podcast truly humanized this subject for me and touched me. I challenge you to read this blog with an open mind and open heart. I am not looking to change your mind by writing this, but am simply letting you into my process. I would love to hear your comments after reading the blog as well! My husband has been listening to a podcast called "The Liturgists". He thought that I would enjoy listening to this particular podcast on LGBTQ. Can I just take a moment and say that this podcast blew me away. I had more goose bumps listening to this episode than I have probably ever had listening to anything. IT WAS POWERFUL. To give you a synopsis on this episode of the podcast, it is about a few people sharing their stories of identifying as LGBTQ as well as having a Christian faith. Being someone that was raised in a Christian home, these two concepts often do not occur in the same sentence. (Which let me take a moment to say that in no way do I look down upon my up-bringing). However, in saying that, the Church and LGBTQ community often do not go together. Being homosexual is looked at as a sin in the Christian faith and therefore those who identify as LGBTQ are not often embraced into churches. In the past few years, I have really struggled with the idea of LGBTQ. I call it an idea, because this is what it has always been taught to me as. I have always somewhat looked down upon these individuals (I hate to admit this). However, I do not write this blog to argue whether or not this idea is right or wrong. Our society takes care of this enough. I write this blog because the stories that were shared on this podcast absolutely touched my life in a HUGE way and made me start thinking differently about how I will treat people in this community. I have shared in previous blogs about how I love listening to people's stories. These stories were no different for me. They pulled on my heart strings and brought me awareness about my beliefs. Something that I have failed to do with the concept of LGBTQ is recognize the people involved in this community. When I say that, I mean, I have purely seen this as a concept and have completely de-humanized it. Listening to the podcast humanized the concept for me. These are actual human beings, with feelings, living out this life. A life that is often looked down upon and discriminated against by so many. Because this has become such a controversial topic that often isn't talked about, I hesitated to share my opinion, because what if I disagree with someone and hurt their feelings? I would never intend to intentionally harm someone, but I also want to bring awareness to the fact that whether or not we agree with someone's lifestyle, does not mean that we have the right to be hateful towards them. There is potential to disagree with every single person's way of living, however, who gave us that right to judge and look down upon those around us? I encourage everyone to go and listen to this podcast, the stories are powerful. But one of the stories in particular spoke to me. His name is J.J. and he has such a way with words. He is a Dean of Students at a Christian college, as well as an evangelical pastor. I do not want to spoil this podcast for you, but I want to share one part of the podcast that helped humanize this topic for me. In his final thoughts of the podcast he shares: "I am in my PHd program right now, I have finished all of my coursework, I am in the process of deciding if I am going to take my qualifying exams and finish my dissertation. When I came out to them [his school], I was told, "If you don't make a big deal about this {coming out as gay], you can stay. If you make a big deal about this, we have to kick you out." And what they mean by that, is if I take a stand and advocate. So by what I am about to say, could be seen as advocating for something that potentially has the ability to lose the last 4 years and $100,000 of my PHd. But here is the thing. Is that for people out there that are walking through this and belong to something and feel stuck. I would say 1. God loves you, you have people who love you, you are going to be okay, and this is probably the hardest thing you are going to do." This is just one of the many things that spoke to me of J.J.'s story. What got me most is the fact that this person, who is passionate about what he is getting his PHD in, could have possibly wasted the last 4 years of his life, because he came out as Gay. Yes, he is at a Christian organization, so this decision may seem justified to this organization. But just because he has come out does not change who he is/was before he came out. He believes all of the same things that this Christian organization does and strives to be just as much of a Christian as the next guy. However, in this schools mind, it did not matter how much work or how much money he put into this program, he was committing a sin, and therefore could be kicked out of the program. How does this sin differ from an adulterer, a liar, etc.? In no way was he harming anyone in that community by being Gay. We as Christians tend to categorize and rank sins according to how bad we think they are and LGBTQ has been put into the un-tolerated sin category. They are being kicked out of the church because of this "sin". I do not know those that were also in J.J.'s PHD program, but I am sure they were no where close to perfect. However, because he was being congruent to his genuine self, he was being "punished".
The Church tells us that the Bible encourages us to love each other. However, many people feel that Christians are hypocritical of this idea most. Christians tend to judge others because of their sins and therefore fail to love them. Do they not deserve love? All in all, what I gained from this podcast was the fact that, 1. People whom are Homosexual are humans, 2. Who am I to judge them? None of us are perfect and all have our own flaws, which makes us no better than them. 3. I do believe that Homosexual people can believe in God too. No one has the right to tell them what they can and cannot believe in. In no way am I saying that I am not a Christian, nor do I look down on Christians. What I am saying is that I would challenge everyone to re-think how you treat others, including those who identify as LGBTQ. People whom identify as Homosexual deserve to be loved and treated with respect - just as any other human does. Does your love extend past those that you agree with? Brittany Wingfield, MS, LPCC
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Nurtured Hearts Counseling's BlogBrittany WingfieldI am a Licensed Therapist in Lone Tree, Colorado and my goal for this blog is to explore taboo subjects that no one is willing to talk about and I am eager to bring awareness to. Facebook Feed |