Summer was busy and there is a lot of heaviness in the air. There is a lot of pain being felt in our community and it is one of the hardest things to face.
I am so proud of the willingness that my clients have had to confront the tough and most painful parts of their life. This is no easy feat and it shows the strength that truly lives within each of them.
One of the best things someone can do for themselves is to acknowledge that there is pain that exists within them. Many people move through life never having acknowledged or been acknowledged in their pain. Some have spoken up and weren’t heard or were ignored, which has exacerbated the pain that is already felt.
This unacknowledged pain can show up in many ways throughout our daily life and one of these is in relationships. The pain can disconnect and lead to shut down, because it is not worth the risk of opening up to others with the possibility of being hurt again. We feel we have no choice but to get through it on our own, but this often leads to isolation and loneliness. However, it feels MUCH safer than having to depend on someone else and feel let down again and again. The possibility of someone actually being present with us in our pain feels too slim a possibility.
It can show up in our ability to be present. If the pain that we are feeling is all-consuming, it often leaves us stuck in our head and unable to connect and show up for ourselves. This can often feel like you are a third person watching in on your own life, as though you are missing chunks of your life or don't have memory of the past, or as if your head is disconnected from your body (figuratively). It can show up in many ways, but these are all normal aspects of living in our pain alone.
Pain can steal the joy in one’s life and can truly take a piece of their personality or bring out parts of them that are not their best parts. It can cause for coping skills that allow us to check out and want to avoid the pain at any cost leading to substance use or isolation. This pain can be destructive if not faced.
Pain shouldn't be allowed to define us, to steal our joy, or waste this precious life. It deserves to be acknowledged and felt. We all deserve to feel acknowledged and know that our pain matters and is heard.
Do you have pain in your life that is stealing a piece of you?
How can you acknowledge it?
Living life with you,
Brittany Wingfield, MS, LPC
P.S. If no one has told you, please know that you matter and you are not meant to live this life alone. If you are feeling pain, I see you and am with you.
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