I normally do not send my newsletter out until Sunday, but I wanted to reach out considering the heartbreak that our community is feeling from Sunday night’s events.
My heart is still tender from the horrific event in Vegas. I found myself in a state of shock for hours and throughout the day yesterday and today, after finding out about the tragedy. Shock that so many lives had been taken, shock that a man could bring himself to take so many other’s lives. Shock that our society feels as if tragedy could strike at any moment, and sadness that this feels like somewhat of a norm these days. I understand that we live in a broken world, but man, sometimes it just feels like too much. I found myself polarizing between two extremes this week - wanting to live in denial that it happened, because the reality of it all was overwhelming, heart wrenching, and just plain scary. I also found myself desperate to help, but feeling so helpless. I found myself reading article after article and that became too much. I couldn’t live in denial of this event, because I just could not shut my heart off, but I also couldn't engulf myself in it too much, because it was just too painful and I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself.
I think these events leave us in a state of desperation. It is so hard to feel like there are so many people hurting and there is not much that we can do to help. I have offered my services to those who live locally, both who attended the event and the overall community, but still that just doesn’t feel like enough. These people's lives are forever affected and they will never be able to go back.
These Survivors are fighting for their lives, faced with flashbacks, a wide range of emotions, grieving over friends and family lost, struck by the horror of going out into a public place and questioning their safety. These are the effects of such a traumatic event such as the one that happened Sunday night, and they feel plaguing. Trauma gets stuck. Our body doesn’t know what to do with it and for a while it goes into shock because it all just becomes too much. As the shock starts to wear off though, reality sets in and it is a monster to deal with.
And while you may not have been a Survivor of Sunday night’s events, you were still affected. These kind of events leave us as a community with a million questions. How did this happen? What could we have done to prevent this? Are we safe to go out in our own community? Sometimes it is our natural inclination to hole up and never come out. But we miss out on life. We let the evil in this world win. This is a tough place to be. We all go into fight or flight protecting our lives. It’s just overwhelming. As I type this, I find myself taking a deep breath, because it all feels so heavy. So, I encourage you, take some time to breathe throughout all of this. Take some time to take care of you and notice what you need in all of this. It’s a lot. I want to reach out and hug my entire community. Because through community and bonding together we can get through the difficult times that this world brings.
So today, I just want to tell you, I am here. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out. Even if it is just to have someone to process this tragedy with. Even if it is just to cry with someone. I am here.
We need each other.
Sending a virtual hug and love,