"Hi, How are you?"
This is often the phrase that we use when encountering others. We ask them how they are doing out of common courtesy. But do any of us actually take the time to sit and listen to how someone is ACTUALLY doing? Do we really want to know? The real question comes when we ask, do we want them to know how WE are genuinely doing?
It is not common for us to actually take the time to listen to how someone is truly doing. So, why do we ask? Isn't it kind of rude to ask and then not give them the time to listen? However, this is a norm in our society and we haven't taken the time to think about the impact of these surface level interactions.
I hate to be blunt in pointing that out, but I think something that we are lacking in greatly as a society is not having genuine relationship and connection anymore. I find that the lack of genuine connection has had a great impact on those who come in and see me. They lack the feeling that anyone actually genuinely cares about how they are doing. Can you relate to this feeling?
Someone once told me about how another country handled this lack of depth. They noticed that there was no connection occurring in, "how are you", and changed their greeting to, "how is your heart in this moment?" I remember instantly getting goosebumps, because the words within themselves bring about so much depth. This is something that we often do not encounter and therefore, I fell in love with this idea. What if instead of asking, "how are you?" and keeping things at surface level, we actually took the time to ask and care about how someone's heart was in that moment?
1. Do you worry that you will inconvenience others with how you are actually doing? Maybe you aren't always "good". Maybe this is a convenient answer to move on in conversation or be able to walk away. But what if someone actually took the time to listen and acknowledge where you were at? Can you imagine how much depth that would bring to your relationship with them? Can you imagine how nice it would feel for someone to actually care and listen?
Your feelings are important and DO matter, whether you believe that or not. You are not an inconvenience.
2. Does that depth scare you?
Maybe this depth scares you, because no one has ever taken the time to introduce you to that. Maybe you have felt that no one has ever cared about your feelings and they have always been squashed. But what if this depth could bring greater fulfillment than you have ever experienced? How would that positively impact your life?
3. How could this small change affect our greater society?
Can you imagine how this question could impact your life? Let alone how you could impact someone else's life by actually asking them how their heart is in the moment and caring about what they had to say? This could be a chain reaction that could affect our greater society and bring more depth and acceptance into our world.
Can you imagine how this would affect not only your current relationships, but also new relationships that you encounter? How would this affect someone in the checkout line that you may never encounter again? You may change their day for the better.
Are you willing to bring this depth into your life?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea, comment below.
If you would like to connect, I would love to hear from you.
Nurtured Hearts Counseling
Nurtured Hearts Counseling's Blog
I am a Therapist in Lone Tree, Colorado and my goal for this blog is to explore taboo subjects that no one is willing to talk about and I am eager to bring awareness to.
5 Ways to Ease Anxiety